Christmas
Currier & Ives' "Winter Pastime" from 1855
This picture VERY MUCH reminds me of my childhood at my Grandparents'
house -
really everything except the sleigh ...
Christmas is always a very special time around my old farmstead. I largely grew up in this home - here in Dighton, Massachusetts - in my grandparents' old farm house. I can vividly recall my grandfather making popcorn on the old wood stove which they had in the kitchen when I was a small kid, and my grandmother ringing the jingle bells and excitedly saying, "Oh - there goes Santa Claus down the road - you just missed him ..."
To this day, as I still sit here in the next room, I can visualize the stockings hung near the chimney and along the bannister of the open stairway in their living room. The house is quite a bit changed now, but those old wonderful memories still flood its rooms and hallways - especially during the Holiday Season.
My grandparents never had a whole hell of a lot, financially, but they sure knew how to make the best of things - and how to make any time, especially Christmas, seem magical ...
My grandparents always had a real tree, and they would always cut it down themselves from right out in the back woods on their own property. That may not sound like much of an unusual ordeal to those of you living in Colorado or Idaho or New Hampshire. But believe me - it's a definite rarity around this area of Massachusetts, especially today. I've seen this whole area go from rural to residential in just the 40 years I've been around.
To contemplate the difference is stunning ...
I remember that they would bring that tree in - and it was always
a good-sized
one - and would prop it up in a large bucket with its trunk surrounded
by stones.
Its decorations would consist of everything from these two little
porcelain dolls - which I'm sure had probably been passed down for generations
to my
grandmother - to tiny pieces of cotton on the branches, to resemble
snow.
There were probably many more handmade ornaments on it than anything.
I still have one of the gum wrapper chains which my cousins and I made
in later years, as teenagers - and I use it on my tree every year.
My best friend, Mike, and his wife Pattie and their boys sent me this
card one Christmas.
Like "The Christmas Guest" which is included elsewhere on these Christmas
Pages of the
web site, it's one of the most beautiful, thought provoking, and "seasonally
appropriate"
verses I have ever received from anyone. I'm pleased to share it with
everyone here ...
There were many more than "several" Holidays which Mike and I spent together, growing up. Seemingly, we look at things a lot more retrospectively as we're getting a bit older. We realize that our parents were only human beings, too - that although we didn't realize the incredible responsibility when we were just kids, times were very tough on them from time to time, too. All we knew as we became teenagers - like any, or at least MOST other teens - is that we just wanted to get the hell out of the house and be with our friends as often as possible. This was especially true if and when the arguing started. I can't overly emphasize how important my TRUE friends have always been to me. Michael was definitely right up there in the ranks - probably my best friend ever - of everyone.
The one exception in my family was my grandmother. I guess because she NEVER seemed to be in a "bad mood." She was just like one of us - light-hearted (not to mention how GOOD-hearted) - and basically "kiddish" just like the rest of us. Carefree always. The other adults weren't like that. They got angry. And when they did - you'd better believe that back then, you KNEW ABOUT IT. I guess that was the big difference - the "advantage" she had over anyone else in the family. One way of putting it would be to say that she was "permissible" - as opposed to being punitive and authoritative. I think more important though was the fact that she would tell you when she thought you were wrong about something - but she wouldn't condemn you for it. She would take the time to explain WHY. This is what I always try to do with anyone I deal with - especially with the kids I counsel in my work (well, in my "regular day job ...") I'm pleased that it's a quality I admired in her and continued practicing myself. There's really nothing "magickal" about it. The bottom line is "do unto others ..." That's all there is to it, really. Before you lose your cool and start getting smart mouthed/ offensive in some way, stop and think how you would feel if it were YOU that your "conversation" were being directed at right then. That's all there is to it. Just treat others as YOU would like to be treated. If there IS indeed an ultimate judgment upon us - on our earthly behavior - then I really believe that the primary consideration is in how we have treated others.
Including ALL LIVING THINGS.
She passed away a couple of years ago. It was on January 05th - a howling cold winter evening. My father had come to my house - all upset - saying that I had better go with him because he didn't think she was going to make it this time. I guess I initially went into denial because I just ignored what he was saying. Finally I grabbed my coat and went. I had never watched anyone die before. Because it was her, it multiplied the intensity of such an event exponentially. This was the person who I most remembered holding my hand in the very beginning of my own life. The person who I was with and who I walked up the street with to her sister's house when I had only just turned 5 years old and JFK was murdered. The person in my family who was always supportive of my musical career - not to mention of almost anything that I really wanted to seek in life as a goal or interest.
My only "consolation" - whatsoever - was in the peaceful look upon her
face when
she finally did pass on. Because that is something I will never forget,
either.
I miss her deeply, and after this length of time, now realize that I
always will.
